She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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