Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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