What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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