oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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