Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
