i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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