we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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