i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
