Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
