Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize