The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
