there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
