I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize