Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
