I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
