oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
