I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
