Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
