GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
