I queefed so loud it echoed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize