You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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