Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
