Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize