scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
