we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
