At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
