the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
