someone get that fucking seahorse.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
