Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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