North Korea, Best Korea!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
