I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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