How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
