Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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