Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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