The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize