found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
