I hate all girls vehemently.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
