Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
