Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
