Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
