You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
