She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
