What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
