You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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