Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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