do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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