This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
