I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
