Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
