you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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