you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
