where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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