is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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