what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
