Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
