you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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