ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
