from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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