What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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