Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
That was an excessively violent trivia night
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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