There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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