I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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